Nitty Gritty Titty

I’m getting down to the “nitty gritty”, what we Southerners like to refer to as going back to the basics. The title of this post simply made me smile. So let’s check in and see how things are going, post break up.

Life is surprisingly super okay, which gives me an unsettling feeling that I’m headed for some sort of emotional turmoil in the near future. Right now I feel very peaceful, cheerful, and sociable; but my ex and I haven’t spoken face to face since we decided to resend our titles. This fact makes me wonder if my feelings are even real. Nevertheless, I have a new morning routine where I wake up, make coffee, do a little yoga, brush my teeth and head straight out the door to walk to the park nearby.

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I’ll take a lap around the mile-long trail twice, and then I’m able to take on whatever the day may bring with a sound mind. It may not sound like that big of a change to be affective, but it really is! I’m getting involved socially, wearing colored eye shadows on ordinary days and seizing business opportunities I would normally turn down.

Recently, I’ve challenged myself to try and take full advantage of every single day on my schedule, making plans and actually sticking to them. We often tell ourselves that we do this when we really don’t. Sometimes, I only want to watch Game of Thrones re-runs with my hand down my pants for hours on end. Now, the dry erase calendar on my wall looks like the strategy board for a presidential race.

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Deborah P. Hecker, Ph.D., psychotherapist and relationship expert, author of Who Am I Without My Partner?: Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your Self says: “When one is flying solo, it is the perfect time to turn inward and to fill in the gaps.”

Are there any other tricks that work? I’ll tell you:

  • having some daily quiet time or meditation time, intensifies the element of self care
  • listening to songs that reflect my deepest, saddest, most confusing emotions
  • NOT following the ex on ANY social media platforms, NONE
  • and working it out, literally! having a daily work out routine I can stick to (hence my morning walks to the park)

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I’ll have to check in again after another month or so. Recently, I’ve been dating just to remember how. I’m finishing all the half-read books on my shelf, using a language-learning app to become more fluent in Spanish, and I plan to take a getaway trip to three cities in Texas next week.

My main goal now is to love more of myself, so that someone else can love me the way I imagine love should be.

7 comments

  1. Alex · July 31, 2017

    Be strong as you are beautiful in every way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ben Tee · July 31, 2017

    You know I love you

    Like

  3. Ed · August 1, 2017

    Everything you said really resonates with me. I think you are doing everything right. For me, mediating and working out were key to keep my sprits up, while trying to move on and heal my heart. Time will heal.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Aaron · August 1, 2017

    Cheers to you being and realizing your best self!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. charles · August 5, 2017

    in fact you do not you are beautiful inside (kind, sweet, social) but also ( out perfect beauty ).I am sure you will find the love of your life

    Liked by 1 person

    • charles · August 5, 2017

      oups l am french i still have to improve in english

      Like

  6. H.S · August 5, 2017

    It’s good to see that you’re getting through the break up. I’m going through one myself. Take each day as it comes. You’re a beautiful woman and you’ll find someone who will appreciate all that you are. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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